I am a Christian.... At least that's what I've been saying for the last twentysomething years. It seems, though that the older I get, the more questions I have. Shouldn't I be learning more as the years go by? Apparently not. Instead, the more time that passes by, the more I realize I don't know.
In our church home groups, we have been working through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This week we discussed chapter 5 - "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God". Ouch. Immediately, we all assume that this could not possibly be referring to ourselves. It steps on toes and we don't want it to be our digits crushed beneath the heavy boot of reality. I could be one of many to chose to take offense at some of the things Pastor Chan has to say, but I don't want to be one of those.
***WARNING: Harsh Personal Opinion to Follow***
I personally know several people who "couldn't" finish the book. I have a feeling it's more of a "wouldn't" finish the book. When the cover plainly states "overwhelmed by a relentless God", who wouldn't want to finish the book? It doesn't matter if you agree with everything or not. In fact, if you did agree with everything, I'd wonder how sincere you truly are. So here's the challenge to those of you who are afraid to finish or even start reading the book - do it! I dare you. I dare you to make the choice to change your life. Don't get hung up on the little things, but get stuck on the big thing: GOD IS CHASING YOU! It's overwhelming because it's supposed to be! We aren't supposed to understand it all. We aren't supposed to know it all. To think we ever will is to deceive ourselves, but to stop trying to understand and know it all is to give up completely.
So here's where I am... Honestly. I know that I am saved. I was bought with a price and that price was great. I know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and my Maker has a plan for me and that plan is good. I know that He loves me more than life because He gave his up for me. But what do I do with that knowledge? I go through my life day by day and never think about it. What an insult that is to a holy God.
I walked to work today. I'd been avoiding the walk for a long time. It takes time and it takes effort. But yet, when I force myself to get up early and do it, it's rather beneficial. I feel better (once the initial pain of long-forgotten exercise has eased), I sleep better and I get that hour and a half of fresh air every day. Here's my added bonus: I get to spend that time with God. I have 45 minutes in the glory of God's handiwork to meditate on Him. I'd be a fool not to take advantage of that, but again, it's forcing myself to do it.
I leave the house with my iPod in hand. Often I'm tempted to listen to a new album, something Spanish and pop-y, some fun jazz, maybe. Instead, I put on worship. I have to force myself to walk and I have to force myself to focus on God. I'm proud to say that this morning, I did. And the amazing part of it all - God met me where I was. All we are required to do is to take that first step toward His presence and God will rush us with wide open arms. He's waiting, go ahead, give it a try!